silent mode

CellPhone

I miss the ringtone of my cellphone

In the middle of the night

Every time you send me

A three-word text message

I smile

Coz it means a lot to me

I miss the miss calls in my cellphone

You’re doing in the middle

Of my daydreams

My heart skips a beat

You swept me off my feet

For a while

I miss the wallpaper of my cellphone

Where your face paints hope

That fulfills a destiny

That I am meant to be loved

By a stranger

Who send me sweet message

Every other day

I miss the inbox in my cellphone

Where your sweet nothings and unfulfilled ardor

Paints a thousand reveries

Of you and me

Reaching the sky

With our undefined friendship

And you defined

Something real inside

I miss my cellphone so much

We’ve been through a lot with life

Before you started texting me

With saccharine promises

That only soulmates could define

But now

I can’t hear the ringtone

wait for your miss calls

See the wallpaper with your face

Or read your romantic messages

For I lost it last night

To a thief who stole it

Just like the way your stole

my heart away!

(remembering your sweet messages in my stolen cellphone…phoenix

sign in

Offline

I hate to open my YM

when you have no

offline messages to leave

and leave my thoughts restless

chasing dreams with your presence

out of my unspoken misery

sometimes I wonder

if you made yourself invisible

when you sign in and chat

for other fidgety strangers

while I am waiting you’d show up

and heal my emptiness

with your meaningless words

shallow it might seemed to be

but it felt like I’m alive

every time you read

my long poetic lines

and emotional dialogues

that could have move mountains

and rearrange stars in the sky

instead of visual stimulations

and hopeless happiness

you react bluntly

I smiled silently

as if the world turns around

for me and our reveries

but how can I dream on?

when your offline messages

spoke nothing but pressures

and obvious denying lately

what have I done to you?

that you mysteriously

left me without words to ponder

I may not be perfect like others

but I am perfectly sensitive

with the obvious change-of-heart

that your silence spoke sincerely

nothing but conclusion and commas

so I wish you’d remember me someday

like a song in the radio

that after you heard it

it leaves echoes of ardor

I have no intention to search

for another stranger

and exchange flowering words

for you are there inside me

I’m hoping and waiting

You’d leave something

like offline messages

So before I sign off

give me a chance to let you go

and remain a stranger from afar

Hugz…pheonix

open inside...

Close

I have to send this email

To the wind and stars

That made up your eyes

And numb heart

It’s nothing personal

It’s not even all about you

Or the “what-ifs”

And “what-might-have-beens”

Very honestly

It’s about me and my misery

To find myself again

After I risk the sanity

Of my defensive heart

It’s time to grow up

And leave the fairy tales

Behind the innocence

Of my childish thoughts

I’m twenty seven

And you’re twenty nine

We’re old enough for games

And the “signing-ins”

To strange relationships

And “lovers-to-friends” thing

I hope you know

And let me know

If we’re meant as friends

And end up friends forever

I thought love knows no face

and inequity from gender issues

but this is the real world

we were meant to live with it

and die in your silence

which you claim to be your nature

after one year and seven months

you still take my breath away

with your cryptic responses

but hurts me when you sign off

for I have to tirelessly wait

for your offline messages

I hope you feel

I hope you understand

That my email contained

My “supposed-to-be” closure

Close enough for you to see

the open door I left

and my hushed adieu

last night

Sincerely weary…pheonix

my own MTV