breath again

Pensive

I couldn’t control my thoughts tonight
They linger somewhere else
Somewhere I don’t want to revisit
Even in my mind’s eye
But this is me struggling to break free
From self-doubt and unspoken miseries
I wish I have no regrets with everything
That I’ve been through all my life
And leave it all away as I move on
But they tend to haunt me
And keep me restless night after night
Every time I hear Tina Arena’s song
“If I didn’t love you”…
The tides of regression started to overcome me
And look back with lonely view of yesterday
Over friends who left me hanging up
In the road of broken possibilities and expectations
I’ve gambled my heart’s sanity
To nurture their broken wings
They say when you let your feelings
For a bestfriend enslave you to love
His imperfections will turn into a beautiful sight
While you’ll be left behind waiting
For nothing but broken promises and dreams
I’ve always been plague by wrong choices
To show my bestfriends how I truly feel
Maybe it is my nature to be enslaved
By the thought that I cannot live
Without being loved in return
But I truly believe that my heart
Is the greatest weapon I have to live
Without blindly seeing the need to share
My passion without expecting any return
I know for sure that there are better days for me
Waiting to come and heal my loneliness
As I strengthen my heart from the bruises
I got from giving up everything in the name
Of selflessly loving my bestfriends
…that for me is no weakness at all
It is my pathway to live my life meaningfully
Even if I haven’t been truly loved
Wherever you are bestfriend
You always have a piece of me
That only you can return to its proper place
And make me whole again…
My pensive my mind tonight
Has spoken sincerely…
Through the longings of my heart
Bye! (for now)
I’ll try to ignore you even if we’re both online tonight…phoenix
Intentions
Sometimes we have beautiful intentions
In everything we wanted to do with life
We wanted to make the world see
The beauty of the heart that lies within
And let the people we care realize something
That we are capable to share life selflessly
But we can’t please everybody or the whole world
About how beautiful those intentions are
Some people’s heart are sometimes trapped
Inside their selfish intentions and need
To fill the holes of their insecurities
By pulling down others and discouragement
But all this time…
I have learned my lesson well
I survived pains and torments
I learned to stand on my own
And walk in my chosen path to live life
The way it should be lived with passion
Their lies and criticisms won’t torn me apart
Or weaken my soul to walk with faith
Deep in my heart
I always believe in my dreams
For dreams are worth fighting for
If we have reasons to dream
For something beautiful
For something larger than life
For something real
And that reality remains to be my greatest passion
I know the truth is out there I can tell
All I have to do is to live without regret
And believe I have nothing without heaven’s bliss
No matter what I just need to go on living
One day
Someday
The world will finally see
How beautiful my intentions can be
In a distant horizon

What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger (I know for sure)…phoenix