Saturday, November 29, 2008

untied poetry...


If I were in your shoes just for a day

I would wake up and see the sun

Rising in the horizon with the same bright light

I want it that way when I’m living for another day

I’ll open my laptop and check some offline messages

Left by some strangers I’ve met in the cyberspace

I’ll smile and think about why I am such a fling

To succumb in moments of loneliness inside me

And left them breathless with my face all over the cam

If I were in your shoes just for another day

I would go to work willingly till the sun sets

I wouldn’t think twice making music to ease my boredom

Since I like to build organs and spend the rest of my thoughts

Perfecting my craft for as long I can remember

I’ll wipe my sweat while working hard to make the best organ

I always knew in my heart that I could be a better artist

If I could weave music and build something that creates it

I was born to do this so I might end up loving this kind of life

If I were in your shoes just for a few days

I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my savings

Buying my dream house with a small garden at the back

So I would feel comfortable playing the organ alone

My dad won’t even mind why having my own place feels much better

I could even talk to strangers privately when I open my YM

I like to tell myself that I am determined to find someone

Who could cheer me up when lifetime seemed too long to live

I think it’s sweet to open up your soul without losing your empathy

And fall asleep when I get tired of chatting while the laptop is on

If I were in your shoes for just a week

I would meet my friends and invite them for a drink

Talk about what makes me happy without losing my sensibilities

I know they would understand why I prefer to find good time

The other way around and not the usual hook-up-and-sex circumstance

They knew me from work and when I work I work hard for it

Sometimes I’m even more silent when it comes to my personal life

They deal with it so easily like I tried to be there for them

I always knew I’m a better friend than anybody else

So if I were in your shoes just for a moment

I would do the same thing you did when you followed my heart

Opening my life to someone I felt I’ve met in our previous lifetime

While reading profiles in HI5 once when I was trying to get over a day

Of hard work and thinking what I might be doing half a lifetime from now

I would email him personally and tell him I’m open for possibilities

Of liking him and his personal definition of friendship and love

I would call him half a world away to say his writings are sweet

I would spend more time waiting for him online

And refrain from making him believe I’m always offline

He would understand why I still talk to a whole lot of strangers

So when I’m tired chasing the time difference and silence

Still I would try to be his bestfriend that he could talk online

Because I know how it feels to be taken for granted and pushed away

By someone you’ve been waiting all your life to complete you

Then you’ll recognize they’re gone for good

And realize you somehow fall for them at the end of the road

But I have my own shoes…

I should learn to live a lifetime walking with it

In the path of possibilities while hoping I could forget you soon

Soon enough when would I find myself learning to love life again

My shoes are untied…phoenix

singing in sober


I’m sorry if I feel this way

Vast anxiety

Uncertain reality

Impossible expectation

Precious illusion

I guess I’ll hide away as I efface this


I designed this emotional trap for her

But I fear

For a tear

I’m the one

Who stuns

No not me for heaven sake!

Now tell me how to forget you and make this

Feelings fake

Then I found infatuation and a dream you’ll care

For me without lies

In your eyes

In your smile

In my silent cry

Your presence drowns me like her no matter

How I try

I know it’s my fault I drag you out of her


There are miseries

There are confusions

And infatuations

Suffocated my newly healed heart from

Cruel illusions

Crushing like tidal wave in my consciousness

That drags my tears to the sea

Help me

I don’t wanna be

To see me

Stranded again in a crossroad for your love

Chained in hopeless


Reminiscing my (The) Educator days when I fell for Jennifer Page’s song while hurting for worthless infatuation… phoenix

clolrs and hues


I should have wrote

A thousand essays

A million poems

A billion monologues

A trillion letters

For you

After we met online

A year ago

But that would be over soon

I should have painted

A hundred murals

A thousand pictures

A million portraits

A billion abstracts

About how I feel for you

After you emailed your heart

Fifteen months ago

But that would be forgotten soon

You could make or break

These angelic wings of poetry

And artistic silhouette before

But that would conclude soon

For I slowly learned

And desperately learning

To find my inner awakening

From reality that bites

And reveries that blinds

That love has its own way

No matter how we design

A masterpiece of allusion

What’s the difference between having a paint brush and a pencil when the heart is numb?… phoenix

proper pop


1997: Spice

I must confess to the world again

That I used to be a die-hard Spice Girls fan

Courtesy of my mutant pals in regent arcade

Who live their lives in the liberty of free mind

We wannabe known for our individuality

Yet we wannabe loved by the those who hate us

For what we have become




and coincidentally

we found our solitude in the music

of the greatest pop phenomenon ever

geri, mel b, mel c, emma and victoria

unleashed a brand new force of sound

that could have change the world completely

in view of modern feminism

thirty one countries affirmed their fame

when their first single “Wannabe”

hit the charts like hotcakes

and instill the line “friendship never ends”


four more songs allured humanity

and i would love to sing with them again

Say you’ll be there…I’m giving you everything

All the joy can bring, this i swear

2 become 1…i need some love

Like i never needed love before

Mama…back then i didn’t know why

So now i see through your eyes

All that you did was love

Who do you think you are…the race is on

To get out the bottom, the top is high

So your roots are forgotten

1998: Spiceworld

I need to confess to humanity again

That i used be part of the Spiceworld

Where pop is the bloodstream of social awakening

vanity came last to passion and feminism

my pop heroines were anointed by their individualism

ginger spice geri has the loudest sound mind ever

scary spice mel b speaks about colors knows no boundaries

baby spice emma thinks the world still have its innocence

posh spice victoria seemed to be a fashionable sleek chic

and sporty spice mel c shows feminism can kick ass too!

But in the middle of the girls’ meteoric rise to fame

Comes the deepest fall to abysmal pop backlash

In the middle of smash hit movie, commercials, global tour…

Ginger shocked the world with her goodbye

For they have become




and fatefully

they have learned the consequence of vanity

and fame that turns out to be a money-machine

somehow they lost grip of their infinite bond

and friendship that could have sow seeds of hope

for those who lost sight of what friends really mean

everything was lost in the oblivion of pop decline

and solo competitions where music means selfish claims

a goodbye single recorded by the remaining foursome

could have meant new chance to go on conquering the popworld

but after its temporary success and the release of a third album

where they thought of reinventing their music into much edger RnB

the clear decline of their pop position was seen clear and vivid

but goodbye doesn’t mean forever for time proved it futile

to truly erase what has destiny had written

now its the time for the shattered five spices to reunite

reinvent and celebrate the past with greater enthusiasm

for time itself cannot erase what it fatefully destined to happen

there are no goodbyes in nostagia

no consequences happened without any reason

no eminent destiny remained unfulfilled

no friendship is doomed eternally in oblivion

the rules of the pop world is simple and clear:

if the music keeps on playing…

you can’t get your ass out of the dancefloor

and deny the heart from appreciating its language!

I am a spice fan for life

I’m not ashamed of appreciating pop evolution

I won’t get tired of listening to Mel C’s pop-rock appetite

Or Emma’s retro-inspired babyish recordings

Or Victoria’s posh RnB sound as expensive as Gucchi

Or Mel B’s crazy-sexy-cool hiphop allusions

Or even Geri’s schizophrenic pop reinventions

I believe they are the greatest pop acts since Madonna

Expressed her pop rebellion or Michael Jackson’s pop hypocrisy

Make no mistake about it: 55 million record sales

a smash hit movie criticized as rubbish



chart-topping No.1 singles with only one single failed to reach the top

a multi-million dollar sold out concerts even as a foursome

Razzie’s worst actress and media’s worst dressers

Guiness best-selling girl group and advertising merchandise



pop invasion that rivaled the Beatles’ history for a short period of time

The only female pop acts declared by Prince Charles and Nelson Mandela

As the greatest moments of their life upon meeting them

There’s no need for finger-crossing predictions

On a world-tour plan and greatest hits release to fail or succeed

Somewhere in time, they preach for feminism power

Conquered the world, rewrote pop history

Fell apart, struggle like any other women

And reunite to prove “friendship forever” still works well

To make this lonely planet dance with its feet again!

Viva forever, spice girls!

And November 2007 greatest hits release… now u can kill me