late night insomnia

Hold

I know if I keep dealing

With these thoughts

I would surely hurt myself

Much more than I expected

So I won’t hold you back

And tell myself over and over again

That there are things beyond our control

The heart can wait

It waits until the next eternity

Of another forgotten eternity

Now that I’ll be alone tonight

It gives me time to realize

Just how much I cared for you

The friendship you left never leaves me

It reminds me of my capacity to love

Selflessly

Truthfully

Sincerely

I know I won’t hold you back now

You know I can’t hold you back then

You always have a choice to stay

And reasons to stay away or remain silent

But if I have a few more reasons to beg

I should have told you that what we had was perfect

Your words filled up the emptiness within me

It may not be years or a lifetime together

But it might be enough to complete me

So If I have another shot of letting you know

This email should have contained my heart

And my dream to be with you is written as a postscript

So as I listen to a heartwarming song

While waiting for you to sign in tonight

I’ll try not to have another second thought

Of letting you know how much it means to me

To see you again in the stars and sky

But if you can’t stay too long

Or you had to stay away for good

I won’t hesitate to let you know

That I might still be here again

Posting my incomplete heart

The next day I had to deal with the thought

Of holding you back

Silently

M online, five forty five AM, still sleepy, mp3 on, playing Toto’s song, feeling sober…phoenix